The Crimson Horror


Otherwise known as Dot Gerooo Gaz Oop Nurth, this was the non-anniversary-related highlight of Series Seven, showcasing Smiffy’s spiffy northern accent, that Lizbian lot in their last decent outing and Emma Peel as the baddie grannie. There’s no doubt in my mind that Mrs Winifred Gillyflower is a wicked piss-take of a certain Mrs Mary Whitehouse, elevating it above the predictable shtick of “Homosexual Leftie Mocks Christians” into the realms of deliciously observed parody. And mockery has always been the Left’s weapon of choice when it comes to undermining those they disagree with.

This is Gaytits pretending to be Gareth Roberts and in the process he pens what is probably his only decent ep since The Unquiet Dead. Usually when I see that he’s writing an ep my heart sinks but here he shows, once again, just how at home he is in writing stories dripping in all that pseudo-Victoriana, and how well Doctor Who works when its adventures are set there.

In fact, this was such a return to form that I reckon he should stick to it in future and write for the Lizbians full time instead of The Moff. It also makes a refreshing change to have a story set somewhere other than London or Cardiff, and surely now Glasgow is well overdue it’s own turn sometime soon, in the interests of fairness alone. One cameo appearance with Strax having a “rammy” in a pub hardly counts as equal billing, and it was the second city of the Empire after all…

The main concern with the edit was how to work around the sheer bloody ridiculousness of the rocket taking off just feet away from the cast without any of them being incinerated – clearly Gaytits reckons the laws of physics and rocketry work differently in Dr Who Land. In the end it proved impossible to cut it without there being a rather obvious and nasty jump cut. But I did manage to get rid of Thomas Thomas, which was so hilarious I just couldn’t start laughing. The other major cut is to the utterly nonsensical prequel for Nightmare In Silver that follows at the end of the ep. I can’t stand Clara’s two brats, especially the girl who is annoying beyond belief, so when the time comes to edit that story, rest assured they’ll both get the Adric treatment.


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