This is the third and final in our series of Fan Edits of the individual stories from the epic fail that is Trial of a Timelord, edited to remove all the Trial scenes and treat the story like it was part of an “ordinary” season of Classic Who.
So, you’re stuck in a lift with Mel and Adric and you’ve got a gun with only one bullet. Who do you shoot first? Answer? Yourself!
The decision to replace the shagtastic Nicola Bryant with Bonnie Bloody Langford has to be filed under “WTF was JNT thinking?”, which is probably the thickest file in Andrew Pixley’s collection. She’s not the worst thing in the story but she comes bloody close.
That dubious honour has to go to the script, which has some of the worst dialogue you’ve ever heard. And when that dialogue is spoken by an “actress” with a voice like nails down a blackboard whilst biting on silver paper, you know you’ve got a real Fan Edit Challenge on your hands!
The answer of course is to cut Mel out of the story as much as possible and only leave her with lines if there’s no way you can get rid of them. The story itself isn’t too bad and it`s got the late Yolanda Palfrey in it – second only to the aforementioned Nicola Bryant in the “most shaggable bird in Classic Who” stakes and with a nice bit of VPL on display too.
When it came to Part Two and onward I decided to include the continuity recaps from the original TX of the story. I remember enjoying these at the time and wondering why they’d never been done before. Again, all the episodes came out quite short by the time all the cuts had been made, making this FE more akin to Mysterious Planet than Mindwarp.
The 71 Edits of the four episodes – all the scenes on the ship, none of the scenes in the courtroom – were seven, seven, four and six minutes longer respectively than the downloadable 72 Edits. That`s quite a bit shorter by the time I’d cut out all the padding and as much Mel as I could, particularly from the first two eps.
With the release of this story, the fan edited Colin Baker Era is almost complete, with the singular exception of the Trial itself. I think it’ll be a while before I tackle that one!